I’ve been able to play Animal Crossing: New Horizons for a few weeks now, and while I am not as talented as friends who have the game and seem to master everything, I’ve found loads about it I’ve loved.
There are some gripes I have with the game – not many though! – but I am going to be a sook and complain about my hot takes and unpopular opinions below.
Pietro is CUTE
THIS IS A PRO-PIETRO ZONE. WE PROTECT AND NURTURE THIS SHEEP’S CLOWNING IN THIS HOUSE. HATERS WILL BE EXECUTED BY TOM NOOK IN THE PLAZA.
Now, LEIF is the terrifying one
Leif looks like he eats children’s toes and actions war atrocities, get outta here…
Isabelle Is Useless
Even thought Tom Nook owns my ass for the next four lifetimes, he has actually does stuff for you. Isabelle does the morning announcements – most days there’s NOTHING said – and then she has the audacity to rate islands? And tell me I don’t have enough goddamn fences? Fuck you, Isabelle.
I Don’t Care About Raymond
I actually genuinely don’t get why he’s so popular and people pay stupid amounts to try and get him as a villager. Is it the heterochromia? Is it because he’s a snazzily-dressed? I’m so confused someone actually bloody tell me!!
Jocks and Cranky Villagers Are Awesome
One of the first villagers I interacted was Bam, a little, blue, jock deer. Never playing Animal Crossing before and not familiar with 99% of the villagers, I was internally groaning at the thought of Jock villagers. Was it because of the direct link to my disdain of exercise? Most likely. Was it because I was thinking this little deer was going to sound like every gym junkie’s Instagram? Also most likely.
I was so wrong. He’s so sweet. He calls me “kablang”, is always happy, and nearly lost his shit when I gifted him a drink shaker. My feelings towards the jocks doubled down when I saw Bill, this small, absolutely adorable duck. How is he not everyone’s favourite? Insanity.
The same goes for the cranky villagers. Sure, I could be biased because the only one I know is Cyrano the blue anteater, with his huge, black eyebrows and deep voice. Sure, he doesn’t reciprocate overly joyous reactions, but he’s always giving me presents with a happy smile of his own.
I’m Fine Not Having or Meeting Top Tier Villagers
This is piggybacking on the same argument about Raymond, but the more popular villagers – seen as S-tier – don’t seem.. that great?
I’ve gone through a few tier lists but I’m going to reference this one at gamewith.net because they also have a tier list for popular villagers in Japan. I mean, they’re still cute, I’d love to meet an octopus villager (I love octopuses!)
I don’t really care about Punchy, Marshall or Lolly. They’re kind of cute but I just don’t care.
Some of the A-tier villagers are cute and have more variety in appearance and what seems to be personality, and I’m much more happy to play around an island or visit another person’s island when they don’t have the same characters over and over.
Daisy Mae’s Constant Nasal Drip Makes Me Nauseous.
CLEAN. YOUR DAMN. NOSE.
The Fact I Can’t Drop Deep Sea Creatures When I’m Already in the sea is Stupid
I really love the deep-sea swimming option and all the cool creatures, but why do I need to go back to shore to open my inventory and release creatures?? I don’t want to give Tommy and Timmy 10 stupid fucking sea anemones when I’m trying to hunt down a crab!
I Want To Visit Other People’s Islands Easier
If you get one value wrong in someone’s island code you have to do the whole spiel with Orville all over again. And if you’re friends with someone you should be able to have a visitor pass where you can visit their island anytime no matter if they’re there or not, online or offline.
Almost All the Cut Scenes and Dialogue After the First Time is Long and Tiring
Talking to almost all of the special villagers is what makes your B-button disintegrate. They say the same thing over and over, and it’s usually when I just-so-happen to hear a balloon whisking by. It makes things annoying.
Blathers, you’re sweet, I get your excitement over dinosaur fossils, I really do… but you really exceed your name. And your dialogue is the same. Always.. over and over.
Give Me Silence!
The music, I’m over it! I don’t want to hear it anymore!! I’d give almost anything to just hear the ocean, maybe have a spare second to hear a present breezing along in the sky… now that’s relaxing.