Welcome to a post that is the antithesis of Facebook misinformation! I didn’t realise how much time has flown since our last misconceptions post, which means by the next time I do one of these I’ll probably be begging people to stop using highlighters as eyeliner or some shit…
or refrain from using lipbalm on your butthole or something…
I have reviewed quite a few things since our first (and last) one of these, but I thought I’d look at ones I maybe mentioned on social media or briefly at some point. I actually went all through my makeup because of the whole moving thing and have picked up some items that are still fairly new
Disclaimer fun time: This post isn’t to shame or generally be an asshole to any company, only simply to talk about a specific product I paid for that didn’t live up to expectations, be it effectiveness or performance. All of these products for one reason or another could not be refunded, in case you’re wondering why I simply didn’t return them. All these products have been used by me unless stated (e.g. The Evil Assistant’s input) and after numerous applications, so testing opinions could have changed from first impressions.
Visions of the future have always had an aspect of technological strides with a dash of individuality. In the early-to-mid 1900s, the future seemed really promising but thanks to cyberpunk and recent history, we’re a biiiit more skeptical of a utopia that includes rolling away from your neighbours.
For when Susan won’t stop being a nosy bitch.
Like some tired, beauty-focused Millenial Nostradamus, I’m throwing my hat into the ring and predicting some mainstream future makeup trends, fitting for late capitalism, societal changes and our never-ending love of silver. My biggest predictions will be able to change our face enough for privacy and against anti-surveillance [I bet you weren’t expecting that kind of talk from a beauty post] by utilising looks we already do, with some exaggerations and tweaks; like changing face shapes, throwbacks, and complete merging of tech… and yes, silver.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but damn do we do anything to come off as beautiful. This isn’t a new statement or mindblowing revelation, it’s as old as our great ancestors who would do anything to bang and pop out kids.
Bless humans, we are so, so simple. Something new or talked about swirls in the air, and we’ll try it… even if we people who are selling really don’t know what they’re giving out.
This will be the first post in the series of dangerous beauty products and practices throughout history (and sometimes, not so much history as ‘literally today’). From corneas falling out to burns to poisons to becoming radioactive, we’ll look at the secretly deadly and insane ways we’ve made ourselves beautiful. This post is very short but next month or so I hope to have the next part out.