Rant: F*ck Your Double Chin!!!

jonathan
Here I was, getting a review ready for you, then a few nights ago while eating and watching weird late-night tv, The Evil Assistant and I found ourselves passing by TVSN, Australia’s home shopping network. Yes, the wonderful and sometimes ridiculous world of home shopping, where you can pay over $500 for this absolutely ugly bag, or a Magic Bullet, the device I care about more than most things, including children.
So what warranted us to stare at the tv in utter disbelief? What made our mostly rational brains short-circuit? For us to feel so offended for our bodies? For me to stop other posts to post a PMS-fuelled annihilation of a product?

Why, the Neckline Trainer/Slimmer!

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Yes, on first sight, you would do what we did and scoff, roll your eyes and/or crack up laughing at the idiocy in a ~rose gold~ packaging. Ooooh, modern and fancy! Yet the Neckline Trainer (or if you’re in the States, “Neckline Slimmer“, or sometimes called the “Neck Genie“) has been around for years and has already done the As-Seen-On-TV laps plenty of times before.

For our virgin eyes, this was our first time, and we’ve never felt so much contempt for a product – or a TVSN presenter – before.

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The Best $2 I Have Ever Spent On My Face

my-face-on-cloths

As a former beauty advisor and all-round person who just needs to know stuff, I have tried a lot of different face cleansers, both manufactured and home-made. Lately, though, I’ve been scaling back as we could be moving (for real this time) and I finished up the last of my cleanser, so on a whim at the supermarket I bought something for $2 that has made me postpone using cleansers this winter.

Are you ready for it?

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I’m Out: Why I’ve Ditched My Makeup Line

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Typing that title hurts, even after explaining to others for over a year now, but yes, I’ve stopped any word to do with making my cosmetic line. After years and years of making my own batches in my childhood kitchen, researching for hours on end, designing unique packaging and trying to nail down everything I could, I stopped.

When I say I worked on it for years, it would have been around six years this year. I know, it’s a long time.

So why stop after so much effort?

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